One of the most difficult situations that any relationship coach or professional coach faces in the coaching session, is dealing with a breakup situation. 

However, there are mistakes that most of us do when we go through break-up stages, in this blog we will talk about 5 mistakes that you should AVOID after a breakup. 

In the meantime, if you think that you can’t get over your breakup or you can’t avoid the following list, you should consider consulting a relationship coach to help you out. 

Before diving into the 5 steps to get over a breakup, you need also to help yourself heal from within the course 

5 Mistakes You Should Avoid After a Breakup

1- Insisting on Closure 

One of the most common myths, that we hear a lot about during the coaching sessions,  is about closure after break up is that we believe it is about what the other person has to say. 

Closure depends on no one but us. We are the real constructors of our own reality and if we observe well, we are true authors of our own closure. 

After a break-up, if you are too tied to the idea of getting your own closure from someone else, think about the following:

-  Are you sure that the reasons you are hearing from the other person on why the relationship cannot go on are the real reasons?

-  What if those reasons were not real but instead were just easy to say?

-  Why base my OWN closure on someone’s opinion of what happened?

One of the break-up stages is that we refuse to let go of the idea of closure that we concentrate on the other person’s motives and forget our own. If we observe carefully, we would instantly come up with our own closure and start the process of moving on. 

2- Giving Another Chance 

One of the biggest mistakes that we fall into after a break-up,  is that we think that if we go back we can fix the relationship and be happy. 

This is often called the “Bargaining or Negotiating Stage” where we dwell on what could have gone better. Even worse, we start to blame ourselves for what happened and may seek contact with our ex. 

3- Lost Love

After a breakup, people think that they will not love again and wonder if they will ever find that lost love. 

We tend to lose complete faith in finding love again or the right person ever again. 

Just believe that if you have experienced such happiness with the wrong person, imagine what being with the right person would feel like. 

Always believe that your love is not lost and is within you, but good things take time. 

4- The “Forever Alone” Stage 

Post break up, our self-esteem may get negatively affected. We are often too harsh on ourselves and can get trapped in self-sabotage. 

We punish ourselves and judge our choices and actions to the extent that we decide that we do not deserve love again and deserve a life sentence of living alone. 

5- Friends Forever

“We broke up, but we agreed to remain friends.”

NO. You did not. No rule in romance states that you can remain friends with your ex. 

It will always be one of two things: you were never in love or still in love but avoiding the pain. 

To remain friends with your ex is another shape of healing barrier to your well-being.

 Not being friends with your ex says nothing about you as a bad person, on the contrary, it is your duty to protect yourself. 

Getting over a breakup is not always easy, and fun, it needs energy, but most importantly, how you deal with breakup will be easier if you become fully aware of what you should do and what you should avoid. 

Getting help at this stage is healthy, if you think that you need help don’t hesitate, you can always contact a relationship coach to help you get over this break-up.