Have You Tried To Say “No”, But It Was Hard? Why is it hard to say NO?

In many situations, people approach life coaching sessions and stay in touch with life coaches just to be coaches at saying NO. 

They often end up in uncomfortable and bad situations which may have been avoided from the beginning if they said NO. If things are so easy, why is it so challenging to say NO? 

According to many life coaches, saying no to someone in the wrong manner can simply ruin friendships, cut relationships and break other people’s hearts. Therefore, it is not an easy task at all. 

On the other hand, doing something that is uncomfortable for you and out of your comfort zone at the moment is even harder for some people, that is why many people go to life coaches and attend life coaching sessions to overcome the fear of saying NO! 

Get more skills through The Art of EQ course 

Then, Why Is It Hard To Say No To Many People?

There must be a reason why saying no is that hard to many people to the extent that they may spend their whole lives trying to figure out how to say no, that they have to go to life coaches to help them just to say no.

People often find it hard to say no because they don’t want to break someone’s heart or hurt someone. In reality, the way someone fears that saying no would hurt someone is in reality a reflection of how you feel when someone tells you no.

It often stirs up strong and intense negative emotions that stir up more guilt and embarrassment. Therefore, to avoid any negative emotions we often jump into saying yes without thinking or evaluating the consequences of agreeing to something out of convenience for the other person. Sadly, some people might say yes to things that may even be against

even be against their ethics. Anyone, even those who are good at saying no, were definitely in a situation where they felt like they had no choice.

Steve Jobs believed that true focus is all about saying no. Warren Buffet encouraged people to learn the slow yes and the quick no. Tony Blair advocated that the true art of leadership is about saying no and not saying yes because of how easy it is. 

Evidently, we are scared of conflict with the other person because we don’t like them to disapprove of us or become angry with us. As children, we are taught not to rebel or even think to go against the authority of the parents, elders, or even caregivers. 

We go with saying yes because we don’t want to be the person who does not please everyone around them to gain their approval and acceptance because rejection hurts.

If you find yourself so scared of saying no to someone because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, simply know that you are too scared to hear no yourself and get rejected. 

Evidently, it is no more than a projection of your fear which is sabotaging you and allowing others to sabotage you by your inability to say no to someone. 

We often believe that if we say yes to everyone we would be loved and considered unique. Research shows that women often find it harder to say no to men in the workplace because they want to be approved of and get along with their male peers.

It is certainly better that you would start learning how to say no but practicing in small unimportant situations. 

Start by saying no to buying something that you know is not important for you at the moment now. When hungry, stop and think to assess your own needs about whether you are really hungry or bored, and say no to that situation. 

Take a moment and ask yourself which is better, whether feelings are guilty about saying no or the consequences that go with saying no.