“To find the right person, you must first BE the right person.” - Merrill Markoe

There is nothing like being with the right person for us. There is nothing like the euphoria that we experience when we are with the person that we love

According to a lot of coaches, especially relationship coaches,  there is a huge difference between choosing to be with a person that we love and choosing to be with the person that is right for us. There is always that misunderstanding between the two concepts

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A Lot of people who are counseling relationship coaches say that they always struggle how to determine the right person for them. However, when choosing the right partner, there are 3 things to consider when choosing the right partner. Of course, there is no agenda, however, those are three misconceptions

1- Identical Partners are Not The “RIGHT” Partners

We often think that our partner has to be identical to us. In coaching sessions, when people describe their right partner, they indulge in the similarities between them and their dream partner. 

The first thing they would usually say to their relationship coach or life coach , “We are identical in everything! We love the same things and we enjoy the same hobbies.” 

Honestly, if you both do nothing but the same things, this is beautiful. But that does not negate the beauty of living another life through your partner and through the things they love and explore new perceptions of life and new horizons that you did not know.

You can also learn so much about your partner’s ability to compromise to do the things you love, where you can also build resilience in the relationship by stretching yourself out of your comfort zone to do the things that your partner loves as well. 

2- Identical Love Language 

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, we have five love languages which are as follows: 

1.Quality Time 

2.Words of Affirmation 

3.Physical Touch 

4.Acts of Service 

5.Receiving Gifts 

The legend says that our love language has to be identical to our partner. FALSE. Nothing about love language can mean that we are with the right partner, not even if we have them listed in the same order. 

However, what is important is learning their favorite love language and acting accordingly because not speaking your partner’s love language is like one speaking Italian and one speaking English without translation.

As a relationship coach, your clients have to know that it is important to compromise to learn your partner’s love language to ensure the best relationship possible.  

3- Identical Values 

We often think that a successful relationship must be with a partner who has our identical values and outlook in life. 

Having partners with the same dreams and passions so they are not an obstacle when we try to achieve our entity in life. MYTH. 

This is one of the greatest myths that we hear in our coaching sessions, especially life coaching sessions, from our clients. Relationships require so much resilience and commitment for us to navigate through it and convert it into a long-term relationship. Therefore, this resilience is best tested when we are supporting our partner’s values. The idea of the soulmate is not based on someone who can live our identical values because we are meant to be. 

On the contrary, what people should listen to in coaching sessions is that we could be meant to be even when we are so different. We could be meant to be even when we have different values as long as we are supporting each other’s values instead of opposing it. We could be soulmates with our partners regardless of the differences as long as they are our mirror that can show us our truth.