Over the decades, people have always believed that successful relationships have been believed to be based on nothing but “love”. And to us, as coaches, we have heard this belief over and over again in any coaching session. 

Many people would never start a relationship until they are crazy in love. Evidently, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in love however, according to a lot of coaches, it is important to be in love as this would dramatically help with meeting our partner's midpoint, however, love is not always enough.

Yes, this could be a breakpoint for a lot of people, but it is our duty as coaches, relationship coaches, or life coaches, to enlighten people to live healthy, happy, and inspiring life. 

Before diving into our blog, you can also know the tools to lead a happy life through our course Master Your Emotions

Below we will explore together what relationships are based on, other than love:

1.   How does my partner hear my words?

One of the most popular relationship concepts is based on Dr. John Gray’s Mars and Venus theory.

Martians and Venusians speak the same literal language; however, they understand each other as if they both speak two different languages. 

One of the struggles that have been opened in the coaching session is the misunderstanding between women and men, and one thing that men and women need to accept about each other is their differences instead of trying to change them. 

Those differences include the fact that men understand women’s words literally whereas women exaggerate their language at times to explain their frustration. 

However, when men take women’s words literally as well, this causes frustration too for both sides. 

In some cases, couples need to seek professional help, from a relationship coach or a marriage consultant to keep their relationship going. 

2.   Timing is Everything  

As many relationship coaches advise some couples, it is very important not to approach your partner when they are stressed as this can enormously change your partner’s reaction. 

It is crucial that you don’t speak to your partner about something vital in your life when they are not ready for the discussion as it can easily turn into an argument. 

Make sure that you respect your partner’s space when they are retreating.

For instance, men retreat in silence when they are alone while most women meet up together to talk about their problems and find a solution for each other. 

3.   Respond Don’t React

Responding is another level of letting our partner know how we feel about something that happened in the relationship. 

Responding is simply thinking carefully, empathizing with our partner, and thinking how my words would affect them once said. 

On the other side, Reacting is simply lashing out or even speaking out without thinking about how your words might cause the situation to escalate. 

Remember, it is not what you say, it is how you say it. Responding includes taking a step back, assessing the situation, and choosing how to answer whether verbally or nonverbally. 

4.   Bring the Best Out of Each Other 

It is very common that two amazing people can get together, and the worst can happen. 

Being a great person does not necessarily determine how you treat your partner. 

Sometimes our lack of knowledge about our partner can easily make us trigger them when we don’t want to. 

Their reaction to our inadvertent ignorance can easily bring out the worst of us and vice versa. Therefore, know your partner’s buttons and how to motivate them. 

For instance, men feel motivated when they are acknowledged and needed no matter how strong their woman is. Whereas women feel motivated when their partner shows interest in how they are feeling and what they are thinking. 

Empowering each other would end up making us feel better about ourselves, therefore, we would bring out the best of us into the relationship and invest in our best version.