“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” – Paulo Coelho

Yes, breakups can be devastating, as one of the most common challenges that face people and they talk a lot about during coaching sessions, is that after a breakup, we often believe that we will never be okay again or go back to normal. We wake up every single day with a pain in our chests that we think will never go away and will increase every day as time passes. 

A person with a broken heart would never believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel, regardless of whether they broke up or have been ditched by their partner. 

Relationship coaches state one fact about the 5 stages of grief that we experience after a breakup is that they either come in order or randomly. Also, they can come together like a roller coaster or slowly one after the other. 

Before knowing the 5 common stages of breakup you can also know more about controlling your negative emotions and you can easily do so through the Master Your  Emotions course and Healing from Within.  

Here are the 5 common stages that we all go through after we break up with our partners: 

1- Denial 

One of the most common talks during relationship coaching sessions is denial, this is when we deny or choose not to believe that the relationship is over and may not return to recovery.

In this phase, logically and realistically we know that we are no longer with our partner, and we never let go of the hope that they are returning back. We often tell ourselves, “It’s just a phase, it shall pass, and we shall reunite.” Being in denial protects us from being overwhelmed with the hurtful truth that it is OVER. It is nothing but a defense mechanism against pain and it prevents us from moving on to the next stage. 

In this phase, it is highly recommended to look for professional help, from a life coach, or from a relationship coach, as they will truly help you to get over this phase safely and soundly! 

2- Anger 

Rarely do people feel grateful, serene, or peaceful after their breakup with their EXs. Often, we grudge and have so much anger inside our hearts and souls toward the person who broke our hearts. 

Anger gives us a sense of control sometimes and the chance to blame our EXs for all the pain we are going through now. 

We get mad at them for all the things they have done and for the things they haven’t done as well. 

You can be angry with yourself for ending the relationship, your partner for letting you down, or even with God for making your paths cross. 

You may be angry with friends or family members who are not empathizing with you or share your anger toward the situation.

Advise your clients, during coaching sessions, to let out all the anger that they have kept deep inside while they were previously denying that the relationship has come to an end.

3-Bargaining 

Worst of all. This is where the boomerang effect occurs where you keep going back and forth to the relationship when you know very well that it was not right for you. At this stage, you will be exploring ways to prove the relationship could be or could have been saved. 

This is where you are willing to do anything, such as negotiating with your partner to bring the relationship back to maintain the quality of life you had. 

This happens not because you were necessarily happier in the relationship, but because you cannot handle the turmoil of the breakup because it is so overwhelming. 

A tip from a professional coach to save yourself during this stage from going back is to write on a board all the reasons which made you leave and read them every day when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep. 

4-Depression 

Apart from anger, depression is most likely to hit as soon as the relationship ends, and we believe that it has ended. Symptoms of this stage are just like symptoms of regular depression which includes eating or sleeping too little or too much. This is where we experience hopelessness, lack of motivation, and zero progress in any life project. 

5-Acceptance 

This last phase might make you feel and think that the 4 previous stages did not include healing, however, they were the essence of the true healing you need. Acceptance is the cherry on top. The true celebration of your healing journey. Acceptance does not mean that life has now become peaches and cream, on the contrary, you may still be sad but able to move forward with your life and happiness. 

No one can determine the time it takes you to heal. No one has the right to instruct you on how to heal. Heal in your own time. At your own pace. With no pressure from

anyone to do so at their own pace and time. Heal at your own convenience even when it is inconvenient for the people around you. Accept that one relationship does not define you for the rest of your life. One bad choice does not instruct the rest of your choice. Give yourself permission to live again and experience other beauties of life. Looking for help is not a sign of weakness, looking for a professional coach 

specialized in relationship coaching or life coaching will help you to be healed and better.